More Than Just a Place to Stay: The Realities of Hosting International Students

When we first decided to open our home to international students, it wasn’t just an act of kindness or cultural curiosity — it was a practical decision. Like many families, we were trying to make ends meet, and this arrangement helped.

We knew it wouldn’t be easy. And it wasn’t. Still isn’t, some days. But at least it always gets better.

At first, the idea sounded like something we could handle. We thought: how hard can it be? You give them a roof, a room, and meals — the rest will work itself out. But of course, real life doesn’t follow a checklist.

So, what started as a financial choice slowly grew into something personal. Because when you open up your home, not just a room, you also open your routines, your energy, your quiet, your personal space, and sometimes even your patience. It’s learning to adjust to different cultures, behaviors, expectations — and they’re learning too. We’re all figuring it out as we go.

There are moments when I feel drained. Times when I just want to retreat into a corner and not answer another question, not adjust anything for anyone. But there are also moments — simple, quiet ones — where I realize: we're growing.

They’re not just students. They’re people. And slowly, they’re becoming part of the rhythm of our lives.

I don’t want to romanticize it. This isn’t a movie where everything’s perfectly heartwarming. Some days are frustrating. Some days I question why we ever said yes to this. But then I remember: we did it for a reason: To open up. To help. To connect. To learn something we didn’t even know we needed to learn.

It’s still a work in progress. I’m still a work in progress. But I’m hopeful. And sometimes, that’s enough.

The Early Days

Our first few batches of students were a joy to host.

We had a written agreement in place — a simple one, to set basic expectations. But the truth is, we never had to refer to it. Somehow, there was a quiet understanding between us. Respect came naturally. We built trust — and we never had to ask for it. It was there in the way we spoke to one another, the way we shared meals, and even in the way we gave each other space.

We treated them like family, and they treated us like their own. We felt seen, appreciated, and at peace in our own home — even while sharing it.

What’s Shifted Over Time

More recently, the experience has started to change.

To be clear: not everyone is the same. We’ve met kind, respectful students who are still with us bringing warmth to the house. But we’ve also had a few experiences where the relationship began to feel strictly transactional — like we were simply offering a service, and they were just here for convenience.

There have been moments when someone walked past me without so much as a glance—no eye contact, no “hi”—as if I were invisible in my own home. Ironically, I'm the one who ends up tiptoeing around, like a guest in my own house.

It’s a small thing on the surface, but over time, it builds discomfort. It feels... cold. Awkward. And sadly, it makes me question whether the sense of mutual respect we once had has slowly faded.

Again, this isn't about being overly strict or expecting emotional closeness — it’s about basic kindness, mutual respect and human acknowledgment. Just a nod, a smile, a quick “good morning” — these small gestures carry more weight than people realize.

A Note to Future Guests and Students

If you’re considering staying with a host family — whether here or anywhere else — here are some things you should know upfront. This kind of setup is not the same as renting a room in an apartment where the landlord doesn’t live with you.

You're not just a tenant. You're a guest living inside someone’s home — and that home still functions, with or without you. The way you carry yourself can either preserve harmony or disrupt it.

Here are a few dos and don’ts that I hope future guests will keep in mind:

DOs

• Greet your host family. A simple “hi” or smile goes a long way in creating a warm, respectful atmosphere.

• Clean up after yourself. Common areas are shared. Respect them as you would your own home.

• Respect quiet hours. Be mindful of noise, especially at night or early morning.

• Be transparent. If you have guests, concerns, or any changes, let your host know.

• Treat the space with care. You’re not just renting a room — you’re living in someone’s everyday life.

  
  

DON’Ts

• Don’t ignore your host family. Silence might seem harmless, but it can come off as cold or dismissive.

• Don’t assume everything is included. Ask first before using things beyond your space.

• Don’t treat it like a hotel. This isn’t a transactional business. Hosts aren’t staff — they’re people sharing their space.

• Don’t wait for a rule to be broken before acting respectfully. Not everything needs to be in a written agreement. Some things are just common courtesy.

  
  

To Fellow Hosts (or Those Considering Hosting)

If you’re thinking of opening your home, I won’t lie — it’s not easy.

You’ll need boundaries, patience, and clear communication. You’ll have to sacrifice privacy, make constant adjustments, and find balance between being accommodating and preserving your peace.

And yet, when it works, it can be beautiful.

When both sides show respect, when trust is built naturally — without having to demand it — it becomes more than just a living arrangement. It becomes a shared human experience.

Final Thought

We don’t expect everyone to be overly friendly or emotionally close. I understand that personalities and cultures vary. But I do believe that respect should be mutual and active — not passive.

To those we’ve welcomed into our home: We continue to do our best to offer you comfort, privacy, and understanding. We’re not perfect, but we always try. All we ask is that this space is treated as a real home — not just a cheap alternative.

Because in the end, we’re not just offering a room. We’re offering a part of our lives.

Related Post: https://www.homestay-rentals.com/post/more-than-hosting-how-international-students-brought-music-meaning-and-moisturizer-into-our-lives